Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
If you’re overwhelmed by busy-ness and the need to do all the things, then this episode is for you.
In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, Michaela chats with Chris Lovett about the benefits of minimalism in life and work - and how breaking up with 'busy' helps you create more impact through renewed focus.
We cover:
- Minimalism is about having only valuable items and experiences
- Value and use rather than joy
- Improved productivity and focus
- Passing things on/doing good gives you a dopamine kick
- Ripple effects of the act of letting go
- Link between letting go physically and mentally
- Reframing success to move away from more stuff
- Attachment to urgency and rushing
- 52% of people have felt burnout post pandemic
- Lying to yourself about the need to plate-spin
- Mental benefits of getting rid of the internal clutter
- Being a disruptor and rebel
- Having the skill of saying no
- The leader of the future won’t be busy
- Patience with change
- Pushback allows you to have the conversation
- Stop helping people at your own detriment
- Tips on how to get started
- Use your out of office
- Try an experiment
- Don’t go to every meeting you’re invited to
- Have a lunch break
- Ask more questions
- Leave your emails for longer
- Permission to stop
Discovery of LESS: How I Found Everything I Wanted Underneath Everything I Owned, by Chris Lovett
Find out more about my group coaching for women who struggle with perfectionism and not feeling enough by messaging me - www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/contact-us/
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
Chris Lovett is an author, executive & simplicity coach, speaker, career mentor and minimalist.
Discovery of LESS: How I Found Everything I Wanted Underneath Everything I Owned, by Chris Lovett
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 06, 2022
Thursday Oct 06, 2022
Do you say no? Can you set boundaries?
This re-released episode is one of my most listened to, because setting boundaries to protect your energy is so difficult.
I talked to Naketa Ren Thigpen, about how setting boundaries helps us create balance in our lives.
Naketa R. Thigpen, LCSW, is the go-to relationship advisor for fast-scaling married women entrepreneurs and power couples seeking to balance love and success without dimming or apologizing for their spirited ambition.
We talk about
3:55 Being a recovering perfectionist
6:30 Naketa's life experience
8:39 Giving high striving people permission to slow down
10:30 The effects of the pandemic on high striving people
13:42 The connection between our relationships and our businesses
15:42 Community not competition
16:38 Creating balance
17:40 Shedding old expectations
21:41 The boundaries Naketa sets for herself
23:18 Friendship expectations
26:45 Sharing from personal experience
27:18 Writing the book 'Selfish'
29:08 Reclaiming the word selfish
34:45 Feminism
36:18 Talking from a scar, not an open wound
41:23 A message to Naketa's younger self
44:22 Being a woman of colour in business
Naketa's website - https://thigpro.com/
Book a call with me about my group coaching programme Burn Bright here:
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Thursday Sep 29, 2022
Thursday Sep 29, 2022
Taking a break is hard.
I have had a podcast break. I’ve been working on something behind the scenes: Burn Bright, my high touch group coaching programme for ambitious women who want to make an impact, with less impact on themselves.
I am all about finding balance over burnout – no more late nights working to clear your to do list, no more ‘doing all the things, all at once’ and feeling so wired that you struggle to switch off even when you’re NOT working.
As I needed to create this programme fully embodying what I teach others, I had to cut myself a bunch of slack and give myself a break with the podcast.
Therefore I will be re-releasing some of my most loved episodes, to celebrate having reached the milestone of 100 episodes!
To celebrate my successes without the second guesses.
Let me know in the comments if you ever give yourself this permission to temporarily pause something, to protect your energy and focus!
Find out more about Burn Bright here - https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright/
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Aug 18, 2022
Thursday Aug 18, 2022
Stopping when you’re really busy is hard - there is just too much to do! Right?
But if you’re getting overwhelmed, to the point where you’re not actually getting anything done (hello procrastination!), that’s the time for you to take a break. To protect your energy and ultimately also help you reach your goals better when you return from the break.
You’ll be more productive when you are rested, and have bigger impact.
In this short solo episode, I share some vulnerability around how I had to take a break in the middle of launching my new group coaching programme, Burn Bright, as I otherwise would have been replicating old patterns of perfectionism and burnout. I needed some rest and recovery, so I took it, knowing that pushing through is not the answer. It wasn’t easy, I had to set a gentle boundary with myself, like not taking my laptop with me on my holiday and staying off social media.
If you struggle with this, and want to know how to take a break before you break, register for my Masterclass “How to burn bright without burning out” here: https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright/
Email me for more details about my coaching programme Burn Bright - info@thethomasconnection.co.uk
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jul 28, 2022
Thursday Jul 28, 2022
Being a pioneer, doing things differently and breaking the mould of what is expected of you can be linked with both success AND big feelings of worry around failure.
In this episode, I talk to pop princess and coach Harriet Starling, better known as Starling, about how how we can follow our purpose in a sustainable way without the burnout. We talked about how receiving criticism meant she has ‘made it’ - and feeling worthy even when the music industry fed her messages around not being enough.
In this episode, you’ll also hear Starling’s amazing song Every Single Time performed, and understand why it is a mantra for enoughness.
We cover:
- Play is doing something without a desired outcome
- Inspiration to create
- True inspiration is to do things differently
- Passion and multi-hyphenated
- You can’t be two things in a world that wants you
- Owning it, all of you
- Feel liberated to break rules and moulds
- Stage fright and learning to sing
- Change the paradigm
- The power of delegation
- Follow your passion sustainably
- Where focus goes, energy flows
- Receiving criticism means you’ve ‘made it’
- The patriarchal pressure of body image and ageism in music
Find Starling on Instagram: @starlingsworld and her music on Spotify under Starling
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jul 21, 2022
Thursday Jul 21, 2022
If you’re ambitious, like me, you may have a long to-do list and plenty of goals you want to reach.
Being ambitious is fine, I am all for having drive and passion, or a big picture vision you want to fulfil.
In this short solo episode, I talk about the dark side of your drive and ambition – the ways it has a negative impact on you.
I cover:
- Perfectionism as an umbrella term and a set of behaviours
- The clinical problems linked to perfectionism
- how our creativity comes from a place of rest
- how striving for perfect has a negative impact on your wellbeing
- Adrenal fatigue and cortisol
- Being too busy to downregulate the nervous system
- The balancing act between burning bright and burning out
- What’s fuelling your drive for achievement
- Lack of satisfaction or joy from your achievements
- Dopamine and your rewards for striving
- Fear of failure and other fears fuelling your ambition
- The inner critical voice feeding overproductivity
I would love it if you could join me for a free masterclass, “How to burn bright, without burning out”. If you listen to this episode after the 21st of July, still head to the link and you’ll be able to see the replay recording of this live, free training.
Link to masterclass:
Burn Bright webinar opt-in (thethomasconnection.lpages.co)
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jul 14, 2022
Thursday Jul 14, 2022
Too busy for self-care… Too many things on the to-do list… Work is never ending… Dealing with the mental load… No wonder you’re overwhelmed and frazzled.
There are lots of pressures on you, coming from every angle, but there are also pressures coming from within you. Internalised high standards around always achieving more, always doing your best, never cutting corners, never failing.
You may feel like you have tried LOADS of things, and yet still feel stuck in perfectionism, procrastination and overwhelm.
Constantly trying to be productive means you are never switching off, never resting.
In this episode, I share three things which may help you shift out of the overproductivity trap.
I also tell you about my upcoming free masterclass, How to Burn Bright, Without Burning Out.
There’s a reason why you’ve signed up to a bunch of things which WOULD be helpful… if you actually did them consistently – you need clarity as to why you have that pattern, so you can gently choose another way and spend your energy more wisely.
So you can burn bright, without any of the burnout.
Link to my free, live training on the 21st of July:
https://thethomasconnection.lpages.co/burnbright/
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jun 30, 2022
Thursday Jun 30, 2022
Remember trying to turn one of your weaknesses into a strength for a job interview, and casually saying “I’m a perfectionist”, as if it’s a good thing?
You could say that there are a lot of good things which perfectionism can be associated with.
There are also a lot of drawbacks to it, and the same parts of perfectionism which serves you well in life, can also end up costing you your health and relationships.
Tune into this short solo episode about the pros and cons of perfectionism, to see how it affects you, and see if you are striving for excellence or perfection.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jun 23, 2022
Thursday Jun 23, 2022
Sweet sleep - a good night’s sleep refreshes you, a bad one frustrates you. If you lie in bed tossing and turning, worrying about how knackered you’ll be in the morning without the perfect night’s sleep, then this episode is for you.
I spoke to Dr Guy Meadows about how to get a good night’s sleep, how to stop struggling against ‘bad sleep’, and what to do when you just can’t sleep due to young children or anxious thoughts.
Dr Guy Meadows is a leading figure in the area of chronic insomnia, pioneering the use of
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness treatment. He has
worked with thousands of insomnia sufferers over the last 10 years at his
London-based clinic and around the world, and has set up the Sleep School to help
stop insomniacs needlessly suffering around the world. Guy is the author of The Sleep Book – How to sleep well every night.
We cover:
- Insomnia and its causes
- Circadian rhythms, sleep cycles and sleep drive
- Why the world isn’t sleeping well
- Myths around sleep
- The 8h myth
- Deep sleep is the best sleep
- Sleeping through the night
- Sleep helps us be focused, motivated and problem solve
- Biological sleep needs and genetics
- The majority of us wake up unrefreshed
- Deep sleep, light sleep and REM sleep
- Why we sleep, and why we wake
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- The struggle with insomnia = fight/flight boosts alertness
- Physical/mental aspects of the sleep conditioned response
- Insomnia as a heightened sense of awareness
- The steps to sleeping well
- 1. Accepting the discomfort
- 2. Open to difficult thoughts and feelings
- 3. Live your life to lesson resentment
- Start living a valuable life _with_ insomnia, to feel more content
- The links between sleep and mood
- The science of sleep and the brain
- Changing what you can, accepting what you can’t
- Letting go of the rigid rules around sleep
- The benefits of rest if you can’t sleep
- Quiet wakefulness vs. active wakefulness
- Pause pockets
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find out more about my upcoming group coaching for women who struggle with perfectionism and not feeling enough by messaging me - www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/contact-us/
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jun 16, 2022
Thursday Jun 16, 2022
Have you tried meditation, but can't make it a habit? Do you struggle to 'get it right'?
Over my years of working with high-striving, perfectionistic women, I've found that they often share a pattern of wanting to meditate, but finding it hard to keep up.
In this episode I talk about why that can be, and how you can meditate without making it complicated or difficult for yourself.
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/calm to download my free guide to taking a break before you break
I'm releasing some slots for 1:1 coaching - for more information, email info@thethomasconnection.co.uk
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media