Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday Jun 17, 2021
Thursday Jun 17, 2021
Have you ever tried to have a date night that turned into a disaster? An attempt to do something you once enjoyed together that ended up with an argument instead?
Without reducing the negatives in our relationships, it can be hard to increase the positives.
In this episode I explore turning a mirror on ourselves, to find the things that we are doing too much of, not enough of, and those things we are doing right, to help us turn down the heat in our conflicts.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter eighteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jun 10, 2021
Thursday Jun 10, 2021
In this episode, I talk to Bec Milligan about combining EFT and good nutrition to rebalance your busy life.
Bec is a Nutritional Therapist and EFT (emotional freedom) practitioner with a special interest in guiding busy women from borderline burn-out back into balance, supporting both the physical symptoms and emotional triggers that the pressures of a fast paced, juggling it all life can have on the mind and body.
We talk about -
6:31 Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
11:09 Bec’s personal journey
15:59 ‘Optimal’ health
18:20 Living in the moment
20:24 Rejecting not being good enough
23:15 Not punishing yourself with healthy choices
25:35 Adding good stuff, rather than taking away the bad
28:03 A process, not a diet
29:02 Micro changes you can make
- Regulating sleep, eating and waking
- Eat the rainbow
- Tap it to tame it
36:40 The social value of less nutritious foods
39:06 Eating healthily most of the time
40:24 Seeing your symptoms as signs
41:53 The inability to slow down
45:59 Fad diets
Find Bec on Instagram @becmilligan_
and find out more at https://www.becmilligan.com/
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jun 03, 2021
Thursday Jun 03, 2021
Do you need to be fully compatible to have a lasting connection in your relationship? Having that 'click' and being a 'perfect match'?
No, what's more important than chemistry and compatibility is compassion and connection.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter seventeen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday May 27, 2021
Thursday May 27, 2021
In this episode, I talk to Lara Sheldrake about how overworking and hustle culture has an negative impact on our success, and how accepting imperfection and being kinder to ourselves is more helpful in meeting our goals.
Lara is a speaker, mentor and the founder of founder of Found & Flourish, an online membership, media and events platform for women in business. She has been listed as a top influential female founder and business leader in f.Entrepreneur and in Startups Magazine.
We talk about:
3:00 Lara's journey from burnout to flourishing
9:00 Resistance to work from friends and family
12:39 Calibrating for perfectionism
13:01 Being forced to slow down by the pandemic
15:24 Blend, not balance
19:00 Learning from burnout and being kinder to self
21:00 Change the narrative around 'successful'
23:51 Workaholism and 'hustle culture'
25:50 Busy does not equal productive
33:07 Embracing perfectionism as an imperfection
34:59 Overcoming people-pleasing
39:48 Play - mindfulness by doing
46:36 Lara's take away for you
Find out more about Lara www.larasheldrake.com
and Found and Flourish www.foundflourish.co.uk
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday May 20, 2021
Thursday May 20, 2021
How do you reach a compromise in your relationship?
What are the things you fight about over and over?
All couples have perpetual problems, and feel like you keep going around in circles and not reach productive problem-solving. Rather than seeing the other person as the problem, you need to see yourselves as a team who together solve the problems between you.
In this episode, I talk about how to make decisions as a couple, without one or both of you feeling you have sacrificed rather than compromised.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter sixteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday May 12, 2021
Wednesday May 12, 2021
How do we heal difficult experiences from our childhood?
And how to they impact us as adults, in our relationships?
How do painful childhood experiences shape our attachment styles?
In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, we get to know more about attachment styles, trauma and the unconscious mind keeping a score of what we've been through, giving rise to protective behaviours, which can ultimately still be changed.
Thais Gibson is an author, speaker and co-creator of the Personal Development School, best known for her contributing work and research on Attachment Theory and the impact of attachment trauma on our adult romantic relationships.
She overlaps attachment trauma challenges with personal core wounds, limiting beliefs and emotional patterns at the subconscious level to give us deeper insight into ourselves and our relationships.
We talk about
4:58 Thais' story
9:15 Bringing a high achieving attitude to recovery
11:30 Noticing a critical inner voice
13:30 Thais' recovery from addiction
16:42 Healing attachment pain from childhood
18:10 Internalising our upbringing
21:00 Patterns in attachment styles
- 22:44 Securely attached
- 24:54 Insecure dismissive
- 27:42 Anxious preoccupied
- 30:22 Fearful avoidant
35:43 Steps to combat protest behaviours
44:54 The benefits of inner work
54:31 Why we self-sabotage
Find out more about Thais at www.personaldevelopmentschool.com
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday May 05, 2021
Wednesday May 05, 2021
The pursuit of perfection gets in the way of connection, both in how you put pressure on yourself to BE the perfect partner and to FIND the perfect relationship.
If you get hooked by the perfect images from social media and romantic films, and compare yourself to that, you will feel disappointed. To compare is unfair and leaves you in despair.
In this episode, I talk about how letting go of perfection in ourselves, and our relationships, can lead to deeper connection.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter fifteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, where we learn about finding compassion for every one of our selves, and write a letter to our partner, expressing that compassion for every part of them as well.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday Apr 28, 2021
Wednesday Apr 28, 2021
Do you feel the pressure to look perfect and or feel bad about the way you look? Perhaps you wish you looked like the perfect models or influencers on social media?
Today's guest is Amanda Thomas, a fashion, beauty and portrait photographer shooting for fashion and beauty brands and ambitious big thinkers. She is passionate about how beauty comes from within and radiates out, and believes that rather than filters and retouching, tapping into a positive frame of mind is what makes you look beautiful.
We talk about
3:02 Amanda's photography career
4:42 Nurturing female entrepreneurs
10:41 The effect of confidence on a photo shoot
11:46 Beauty is in how you feel
13:30 Generating intimacy during a shoot
17:02 Working with fashion models
18:38 Retouching and pressure to conform to beauty standards
21:40 The move towards a more 'natural' look
23:25 Filters and their impact on our perception of beauty
27:15 What Amanda has learned about beauty
29:07 Finding balance and pause
Follow her @amandathomasphotographer on Instagram
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Apr 22, 2021
Thursday Apr 22, 2021
What is a compassionate couple, and how do you create an atmosphere of compassion in your relationship?
What would your day-to-day look like, if you could communicate and resolve issues with compassion?
If your partner is reluctant to address problems in your relationship, tune into this episode to understand that all couples have problems, it's human. If you do address them, you can be having a more rewarding everyday interaction.
To learn more about how to do this, check out my new course The Compassionate Couple, here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/thecompassionatecouple
To download the FREE workbook, Balance your relationship, go to:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/relationshipbalance
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Mindfulness and meditation can feel fluffy, or like something which is "good for you", but you don't have time for in your busy schedule.
In this episode, I chat with Shamash Alidina about what mindfulness actually is, how you can practise it in a way which suits you, and how starting small with everyday simple activities is a great way to create a new habit of everyday mindful moments.
Shamash Alidina is the author of 10 books including mindfulness for dummies. He’s a mindfulness teacher trainer and ACT coach and loves the combination of mindfulness, kindfulness and playfulness.
We talk about
10:04 What is mindfulness?
13:04 Four attitudes of mindfulness
14:08 What is meditation and what is the benefit?
21:33 How to fit meditation into a busy life
22:44 Starting with one mindful breath
24:30 Why we find it hard to maintain practice
26:35 Returning to practice with kindness
28:45 Working mindfulness into your daily life
31:20 Mindfulness and perfectionism
32:58 Doing 80% of a task
35:11 Apps to help
38:48 Purpose, meaning and values
41:25 Play using mindfulness
Check out Shamash's book Mindfulness for Dummies and his mindfulness courses on his website, www.shamashalidina.com
Apps mentioned: Self control app, Forest
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media