Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday Oct 14, 2021
Thursday Oct 14, 2021
Do you work in a toxic workplace? Where you are pushed beyond your limits, rather than being looked after? Where you constantly strive for recognition and yet doubt your own abilities, thinking you’re not good enough? Perhaps you have hit burnout and yet cannot make yourself leave, and think it’s all your fault that you ‘can’t cope’?
In this episode, I explore how the internal pressure we put on ourselves to never fail is combined with the external pressure to perform in toxic workplaces, together with Fiona Kearns. We explore how you can recover from burnout due to toxic workplaces, and regain your confidence.
Fiona Kearns is a Business Psychologist who helps people get rid of self-doubt, own their skillset and feel confident about playing huge in life and work. Fiona is the author of ‘How to Increase your Confidence’ and she specialises in helping leaders fulfil their potential in business. She loves the thrill of helping clients manage their imposter syndrome to become confident, visible and more impactful.
We cover:
- ‘Coping’ with toxic workplaces
- Losing confidence and doubting self
- Recovery and forgiveness around burnout
- Burnout in the working environment
- Managers lacking people skills
- High performance does come from whipping
- Challenges in a toxic workplace
- Scapegoat culture
- Obsession with being busy not focused on wellbeing
- Work wellbeing impacts overall wellbeing
- Women missing out on opportunities
- Dealing with imposter syndrome
- Competence vs confidence
- Quickest route to reclaiming confidence
Find more from Fiona at www.kearnsconsultancy.com
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 07, 2021
Thursday Oct 07, 2021
Do you take the time to show appreciation for your partner, even if you also are irritated with them? Do you practise gratitude and kindness in your relationship?
This brief solo episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter 24 of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
In this last episode based on the book, I cover gratitude and kindness for couples.
Subscribe now to not miss the following solo episodes, focusing on perfectionism, the inner critic, ambition, achievement, overwhelm, stress, productivity, self-compassion and much more.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Sep 30, 2021
Thursday Sep 30, 2021
Do you feel bad about the way you look? Does seeing yourself in the mirror trigger thoughts like “I’m not good enough, attractive enough, thin enough?”
Do you compare yourself to other people, thinking they look better than you?
You’re not alone.
In this episode, I speak with psychotherapist Holli Rubin about body image, and feelings we have about our bodies, and how unrealistic ‘body positivity’ can be for those with a negative body image.
Holli Rubin is a psychotherapist, body image specialist and mental health practitioner with over 25 years’ experience where she has been commissioned by the Government Equalities Office and is part of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Body Image.
We cover:
- Connection between our physical selves and our emotions
- The lens we view our appearance with
- Body image isn’t vanity
- Feelings about our body aren’t fixed
- Social media/imagery feed our comparison
- Questioning the images we see - retouching
- All bodies have imperfections
- Body neutrality rather than positivity
- Mindset shifts around what our bodies do for us
- Cosmetic surgery and body dysmorphia
- The transmission of negative body image from mother to child
- Embracing changing body shape in pregnancy
Mind guidance on body dysmorphia
Find out more about Holli on her website www.hollirubin.com
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Sep 23, 2021
Thursday Sep 23, 2021
How are you towards your partner when you are running low on energy, feeling depleted? Hardly 'your best self'. Looking after yourself helps look after your relationship too, by reducing reactivity and bringing more calm and connection.
This brief solo episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter 23 of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
In this second to last episode based on the book, I cover self-care and self-compassion as a way to top yourself up, so you can also be there for your partner.
Subscribe now to not miss the following solo episodes, focusing on perfectionism, the inner critic, ambition, achievement, overwhelm, stress, productivity, self-compassion and much more.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Sep 16, 2021
Thursday Sep 16, 2021
Do you worry that you don’t play enough with your child, or feel bad if playing with them bores you? Or do you play with your children until you’re exhausted, leaving little time for yourself?
In this episode, I talk to Susie Robbins about the importance of play for our wellbeing - both for adults and for children. You’ll get easy tips on how to play without putting pressure on yourself to make it Pinterest Perfect - it is about connection, not perfection, and quality over quantity.
Susie Robbins is an advocate for play. She believes in the power of play to help young children learn, to communicate and to make sense of the world around them. She has seen first hand how activity based learning can create a love for learning and deepen a connection between adult and child.
We cover:
Reengaging disruptive children with activities
Self-worth and pride increasing with play
Supporting learning through play
Social media pressure to play ‘perfectly’
Parents feeling like ‘failures’ in play
Making chores and everyday life into playful moments
Reducing battles through playful games and challenges
5 minute play is enough - time limited play
Connecting through play and shared activity
Alleviating stress/anxiety for adults playing
Play DNA - reignite playfulness from childhood
The pleasure of play protects our energy
Unrealistic expectations on children’s attention span
Sensory play tips
Permission to be a parent, not childcare provider
Facilitating independent play
Find Susie on Instagram at @resolvetoplay and on her website www.resolvetoplay.com
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Sep 09, 2021
Thursday Sep 09, 2021
Have you been hurt by your partner? Perhaps they have made a mistake which you struggle to forgive them for? Or you have messed up and struggle to forgive yourself? Blaming and shaming yourself, or your partner?
This brief solo episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter 22 of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
In this third to last episode in the couples series, I cover forgiveness as a way to let go and move forward.
Subscribe now to not miss the last few of the solo episodes focused on couples relationships, before we continue focusing on perfectionism, the inner critic, ambition, achievement, overwhelm, stress, productivity, self-compassion and much more.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Sep 02, 2021
Thursday Sep 02, 2021
Have you experienced a difficult past? Perhaps you went through a challenging childhood, which has shaped who you are today, and the way you speak to yourself.
In this guest episode, I spoke to Dr Natalie Bodart about to develop compassion for our past, and how we can change the narrative, or story, we tell ourselves about what we’ve experienced.
Dr Natalie Bodart is a clinical psychologist and founder of The Bodart Practice; a holistic psychology practice in London, supporting people in creating a fulfilling life where they feel present and connected again, and to enable people to deal with the past, live in the present, and build the life they want.
We cover:
- Our unique story of the past
- What makes us human
- Challenges as opportunities
- Storytelling and narratives
- Disconnecting from our story creates conflict
- Retelling and healing a traumatic journey
- The meaning of our story
- Fear and avoidance of the past
- Compassion for ourselves
- The reward of not repeating past patterns
- Validating our experience of shame
- Making it safe to talk
- Mind/body connection
- Self-acceptance and asking for help
- Hope as antidote to fear and sadness
- Re-parenting ourselves
Find Natalie at The Bodart Practice
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
Thursday Aug 26, 2021
Thursday Aug 26, 2021
Are you or your partner going through challenges to do with your physical or mental health? Odds are that this will also put a strain on your relationship, perhaps altering the balance of giving and receiving care. If either of you is experiencing physical or mental health issues, your relationship is more likely to be distressed.
This brief solo episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter 21 of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
In this episode, I cover the third of three threats to relationship connection; health issues.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Aug 19, 2021
Thursday Aug 19, 2021
Have you lost someone you loved? Someone dear to you passed away, and you are dealing with the loss and grief afterwards? Or you are grieving things which never got to be, due to the pandemic? The loss you experienced can even be linked to something traumatic.
In this episode I speak to Dr Marianne Trent about grief, loss and trauma, and how to cope with it in a way which gives you the permission to move forward with your life again, towards joy.
Dr Marianne Trent is a Clinical Psychologist and author of The Grief Collective: Stories of Life, Loss & Learning to Heal. She weaves a compassionate approach through all of her specialist trauma, grief and eating disorders work with clients
We cover:
- What is grief?
- Grieving things that never got to be
- Traumatic loss
- Yearning for the absent
- Loss of self-referencing
- Grief and trauma combined
- Permission to feel joy again
- Not wanting to move forward
- Difference between grief and depression
- Bereavement counselling/grief therapy
- Processing transitions
- EMDR therapy
- Talking about our grief and not being okay
- Grief/loss in the pandemic
- Compassionate leave and kindness to self
- Crying as help seeking
www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk
Instagram @goodthinkingpsychological
The Grief Collective on Instagram
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Download the free 4 min audio meditation, Self-Compassionate Break, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Aug 12, 2021
Thursday Aug 12, 2021
Have you and your partner argued more since you became parents? Is it hard to juggle it all, making you feel resentful about who does what in your home? Perhaps you are less satisfied with your relationship now that you are also managing the needs of a baby or several children?
This brief solo episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter 21 of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
In this episode, I cover the second of three threats to relationship connection; parenting.
Subscribe now to not miss the final episode, on how health problems can cause stormy seas in your relationship.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media