Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday May 27, 2021
Thursday May 27, 2021
In this episode, I talk to Lara Sheldrake about how overworking and hustle culture has an negative impact on our success, and how accepting imperfection and being kinder to ourselves is more helpful in meeting our goals.
Lara is a speaker, mentor and the founder of founder of Found & Flourish, an online membership, media and events platform for women in business. She has been listed as a top influential female founder and business leader in f.Entrepreneur and in Startups Magazine.
We talk about:
3:00 Lara's journey from burnout to flourishing
9:00 Resistance to work from friends and family
12:39 Calibrating for perfectionism
13:01 Being forced to slow down by the pandemic
15:24 Blend, not balance
19:00 Learning from burnout and being kinder to self
21:00 Change the narrative around 'successful'
23:51 Workaholism and 'hustle culture'
25:50 Busy does not equal productive
33:07 Embracing perfectionism as an imperfection
34:59 Overcoming people-pleasing
39:48 Play - mindfulness by doing
46:36 Lara's take away for you
Find out more about Lara www.larasheldrake.com
and Found and Flourish www.foundflourish.co.uk
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday May 20, 2021
Thursday May 20, 2021
How do you reach a compromise in your relationship?
What are the things you fight about over and over?
All couples have perpetual problems, and feel like you keep going around in circles and not reach productive problem-solving. Rather than seeing the other person as the problem, you need to see yourselves as a team who together solve the problems between you.
In this episode, I talk about how to make decisions as a couple, without one or both of you feeling you have sacrificed rather than compromised.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter sixteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, about developing love and compassion for yourself and your partner.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday May 12, 2021
Wednesday May 12, 2021
How do we heal difficult experiences from our childhood?
And how to they impact us as adults, in our relationships?
How do painful childhood experiences shape our attachment styles?
In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, we get to know more about attachment styles, trauma and the unconscious mind keeping a score of what we've been through, giving rise to protective behaviours, which can ultimately still be changed.
Thais Gibson is an author, speaker and co-creator of the Personal Development School, best known for her contributing work and research on Attachment Theory and the impact of attachment trauma on our adult romantic relationships.
She overlaps attachment trauma challenges with personal core wounds, limiting beliefs and emotional patterns at the subconscious level to give us deeper insight into ourselves and our relationships.
We talk about
4:58 Thais' story
9:15 Bringing a high achieving attitude to recovery
11:30 Noticing a critical inner voice
13:30 Thais' recovery from addiction
16:42 Healing attachment pain from childhood
18:10 Internalising our upbringing
21:00 Patterns in attachment styles
- 22:44 Securely attached
- 24:54 Insecure dismissive
- 27:42 Anxious preoccupied
- 30:22 Fearful avoidant
35:43 Steps to combat protest behaviours
44:54 The benefits of inner work
54:31 Why we self-sabotage
Find out more about Thais at www.personaldevelopmentschool.com
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday May 05, 2021
Wednesday May 05, 2021
The pursuit of perfection gets in the way of connection, both in how you put pressure on yourself to BE the perfect partner and to FIND the perfect relationship.
If you get hooked by the perfect images from social media and romantic films, and compare yourself to that, you will feel disappointed. To compare is unfair and leaves you in despair.
In this episode, I talk about how letting go of perfection in ourselves, and our relationships, can lead to deeper connection.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter fifteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, where we learn about finding compassion for every one of our selves, and write a letter to our partner, expressing that compassion for every part of them as well.
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday Apr 28, 2021
Wednesday Apr 28, 2021
Do you feel the pressure to look perfect and or feel bad about the way you look? Perhaps you wish you looked like the perfect models or influencers on social media?
Today's guest is Amanda Thomas, a fashion, beauty and portrait photographer shooting for fashion and beauty brands and ambitious big thinkers. She is passionate about how beauty comes from within and radiates out, and believes that rather than filters and retouching, tapping into a positive frame of mind is what makes you look beautiful.
We talk about
3:02 Amanda's photography career
4:42 Nurturing female entrepreneurs
10:41 The effect of confidence on a photo shoot
11:46 Beauty is in how you feel
13:30 Generating intimacy during a shoot
17:02 Working with fashion models
18:38 Retouching and pressure to conform to beauty standards
21:40 The move towards a more 'natural' look
23:25 Filters and their impact on our perception of beauty
27:15 What Amanda has learned about beauty
29:07 Finding balance and pause
Follow her @amandathomasphotographer on Instagram
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Apr 22, 2021
Thursday Apr 22, 2021
What is a compassionate couple, and how do you create an atmosphere of compassion in your relationship?
What would your day-to-day look like, if you could communicate and resolve issues with compassion?
If your partner is reluctant to address problems in your relationship, tune into this episode to understand that all couples have problems, it's human. If you do address them, you can be having a more rewarding everyday interaction.
To learn more about how to do this, check out my new course The Compassionate Couple, here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/thecompassionatecouple
To download the FREE workbook, Balance your relationship, go to:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/relationshipbalance
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Mindfulness and meditation can feel fluffy, or like something which is "good for you", but you don't have time for in your busy schedule.
In this episode, I chat with Shamash Alidina about what mindfulness actually is, how you can practise it in a way which suits you, and how starting small with everyday simple activities is a great way to create a new habit of everyday mindful moments.
Shamash Alidina is the author of 10 books including mindfulness for dummies. He’s a mindfulness teacher trainer and ACT coach and loves the combination of mindfulness, kindfulness and playfulness.
We talk about
10:04 What is mindfulness?
13:04 Four attitudes of mindfulness
14:08 What is meditation and what is the benefit?
21:33 How to fit meditation into a busy life
22:44 Starting with one mindful breath
24:30 Why we find it hard to maintain practice
26:35 Returning to practice with kindness
28:45 Working mindfulness into your daily life
31:20 Mindfulness and perfectionism
32:58 Doing 80% of a task
35:11 Apps to help
38:48 Purpose, meaning and values
41:25 Play using mindfulness
Check out Shamash's book Mindfulness for Dummies and his mindfulness courses on his website, www.shamashalidina.com
Apps mentioned: Self control app, Forest
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday Apr 07, 2021
Wednesday Apr 07, 2021
Do you struggle to get your point across to your loved one?
If you don't talk, how will you understand each other?
It's not just what you say to your partner that matters, it's also how you say it. How you listen and speak with your loved one can determine how effective your problem solving and decision making is too.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter fourteen of my new book, The Lasting Connection, where we learn about the communication ball game and how to start up conversations better.
Join the waiting list for The Compassionate Couple here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday Mar 31, 2021
Wednesday Mar 31, 2021
Do you say no? Can you set boundaries?
In this episode, I'm talking to Naketa Ren Thigpen, about how setting boundaries helps us create balance in our lives.
Naketa R. Thigpen, LCSW, regarded as the #1 Balance & Relationship Advisor in the World has become the go-to for fast-scaling married women entrepreneurs and power couples seeking to balance love and success without dimming or apologizing for their spirited ambition.
We talk about
3:55 Being a recovering perfectionist
6:30 Naketa's life experience
8:39 Giving high striving people permission to slow down
10:30 The effects of the pandemic on high striving people
13:42 The connection between our relationships and our businesses
15:42 Community not competition
16:38 Creating balance
17:40 Shedding old expectations
21:41 The boundaries Naketa sets for herself
23:18 Friendship expectations
26:45 Sharing from personal experience
27:18 Writing the book 'Selfish'
29:08 Reclaiming the word selfish
34:45 Feminism
36:18 Talking from a scar, not an open wound
41:23 A message to Naketa's younger self
44:22 Being a woman of colour in business
51:21 Naketa's take away for you
Naketa's website - https://thigpro.com/
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Friday Mar 26, 2021
Friday Mar 26, 2021
How can we survive and thrive after the worst possible happens?
How can we reconnect with our purpose, when tragedy strikes and our path is forever altered?
Heidi Herkes shares a journey of overcoming paralysis in the hope to inspire and empower. She talks about how challenges are what makes life interesting but overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
In this episode we cover -
4:53 The physical and mental effects of Heidi's accident
6:10 Reconnecting with hope
7:16 Darker moments
8:28 Worrying about the life long impact of disability
9:03 Innovation in technology to help live with disability
10:37 Prejudice and representation
12:27 Reconnecting with creativity
14:47 Changing the outside changes the inside
15:41 Finding your purpose
16:08 Positive mindset
17:52 Toxic positivity
18:38 Sex with a disability
21:32 Emotional impact on Heidi's relationship
22:42 Knowing your worth
26:32 Coping with lockdown
28:42 Inspiration for others
30:55 Heidi's take away for you
Find Heidi at
Instagram @heidiherkes
Website www.heidiherkes.com
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media