Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday Dec 10, 2020
Thursday Dec 10, 2020
Do you dream of working for yourself, but procrastinate starting or thinking you won't be good enough?
In this episode I talked to Polly Lavarello about the struggles and benefits of entrepreneurship as a ‘company of one’, and how perfectionism used to hold her back from finding freedom, balance and purpose.
Polly Lavarello is the go-to Facebook Ad Strategist for coaches and online course creators. Also founder of the Launch Pad, an online membership to support female entrepreneurs to promote their online businesses authentically, sustainably and powerfully.
Polly used her experience working in a marketing agency to successfully build her own business from scratch after having her first child, and for the following six years has continued to help other female entrepreneurs to create thriving businesses of their own.
6:28 The change in life balance that comes with motherhood
7:50 Being an example for her children
8:15 Managing the balance as an entrepreneur
9:28 The life-changing influence of community
10:14 Why is it hard to make time for yourself?
12:30 The benefits to being an online business
17:49 Polly's feminist drive
19:03 Struggling with perfectionism
22:42 Pause - planning the month around hormonal cycles
23:25 The mistake of multitasking
24:30 Actually switching off - using do not disturb, nature and cooking
26:13 Moving away from reactive working and setting goals
28:30 Managing mental overload
31:17 Support through coaching and group coaching
39:30 Finding play that suits you
41:28 Polly’s takeaway for you
Instagram: @PollyLavarelloDigital
Website: www.pollylavarello.com
Feeling overwhelmed? Need some easy steps to find calm? You can find my free download at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/calm
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Dec 03, 2020
Thursday Dec 03, 2020
Do you recognise the signs of overwhelm in your life?
Do you know what to do to slow down?
Do you know what's getting in the way of you taking better care of yourself?
In this episode I explore the physical and mental signs that you might be suffering from overwhelm, and with the help of a visual metaphor, the stress bath tub, discuss methods to cope with stress without reaching the point of overwhelm and burnout. Helping you to follow your ambition without drowning in it.
Find my downloadable resource 'Calm the overwhelm' at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/calm
I'd love you to join in with my challenge to rush less, pause more, by sharing your photo on Instagram with the hashtag #pausepurposeplaypodcast and tagging me, @the_thomas_connection
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Nov 26, 2020
Thursday Nov 26, 2020
In this powerfully vulnerable and honest episode with Mandy Lehto, we explore the ongoing journey of healing from overachieving and not feeling good enough. Mandy shared her own experience of this work in progress, of trying to no longer base her worth on achievements and praise, and instead on feeling worthy for being who she is, imperfections and all. We explore the signs that her body was saying no to more striving, as well as the wake up call she couldn’t ignore. We finish by thinking about how imperfect people are more likeable and get a deeper connection with others than seemingly perfectly put together people.
Dr. Mandy Lehto is a personal and executive coach and writer in London.
She has a doctorate from Cambridge University, and in her former career, was a Director at a global investment bank in the City.
She has written for, or featured in, Psychologies Magazine, The Sunday Times, Psychology Today, Top Sante, The Huffington Post, eFinancial Careers, and on CNBC.
She’s a recovering overachiever, who’s on a mission to help women to identify less with their doing, and more with their being.
5:15 How striving for worth didn’t serve Mandy
8:03 Over-achieving is the only addiction we get praised for
9:19 Mandy reaches breaking point
11:41 The trap of taking on healing with the same over-achieving attitude
14:41 How Mandy became more aware of her inner critic
15:31 Surrendering to feelings
21:51 Realising that perfection gets in the way of connection
27:01 What would Mandy tell her younger self?
34:53 Avoiding competitive self-care
37:41 How to soothe the inner critic rather than escape it
39:41 Exercise that does suit high achievers
41:46 The changes that middle age have brought about
43:49 Playing through writing
Instagram: @MandyLehto
Website: www.mandylehto.com
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Nov 19, 2020
Thursday Nov 19, 2020
Notice how hard it is to slow down, in a world which promotes rushing
We are caught in an illusion that rushing saves us time, makes us more productive and wins us greater success – in fact, it’s the polar opposite.
In this episode, I'm going to bust some productivity myths around rushing and set you straight on why it helps to rush less.
I'd love you to join in with my challenge to rush less, pause more, by sharing your photo on Instagram with the hashtag #pausepurposeplaypodcast and tagging me, @the_thomas_connection
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Nov 12, 2020
Thursday Nov 12, 2020
In this episode, I'm speaking to leadership coach Katy Murray (Katy Catalyst) about how to step up to your ambition, passion and potential - without burning out.
Katy leads Catalyst Collective a boutique consultancy focusing on Equity Inclusion and Diversity. She coaches change making leaders and entrepreneurs 1-1 and leads the Mastermind Change Making Women.
02:39 Katy explains how she works with leaders and change-makers
04:07 How to step up without burning out
05:39 Katy's experience of getting close to burn out
06:45 Making yourself find a sustainable pace
07:35 So much of our learning comes from mistakes
10:05 How resilience can help us in these difficult times
13:15 The need for leaders to relearn self-compassion
15:08 Thinking about your wider network
16:20 Creating a new, less isolated, form of leadership
18:13 Toxic gratitude
19:12 How Katy finds pause in her life
22:40 Three questions to ask yourself every day
26:05 Lowering expectations to create space
29:44 Setting expectations, with the example of email auto-responders
32:20 Two questions for clarifying purpose and acknowledging success
37:23 How Katy finds joy and play in her life
40:27 Finding play in the workplace
44:30 Katy's gift for you
Connect with Katy on Instagram and Linked In
Sign up to Katy’s newsletter Catalyst Notes for coaching prompts, #PowerPractices, + practical leadership tips.
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media.
Thursday Nov 05, 2020
Thursday Nov 05, 2020
In this episode, I expand on a metaphor for how we all cope with stressful times differently - as we are all sailing on the same stormy seas right now, but we all do so in differently equipped boats. This can help you step out of blaming and shaming yourself for your reactions to our current circumstances.
Here I consider why it is that you can validate your loved one's feelings, and provide helpful suggestions, whereas you might be harsh on yourself. As the UK enters a second lockdown, I invite you to treat yourself with the same compassion that you would extend to a friend.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram @the_thomas_connection
Facebook www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 29, 2020
Thursday Oct 29, 2020
This week I’m talking to Clio Wood, a Women's Health and Sex Positivity Advocate, and the Founder of &Breathe - award-winning wellbeing and fitness retreats for pre/postnatal, parenthood and peri-menopause. Clio created &Breathe following the birth of her daughter in 2014 and her experiences with trauma, postnatal depression, and painful sex/pelvic floor issues and is passionate about helping other women be their best selves.
02:11 Clio tells the story of her traumatic birth and recovery
07:23 How the transition to motherhood affects your relationship
10:31 Dealing with the focus of recovery being on the baby
14:41 Some little-known practical help that is available to new parents
15:43 The importance of a birth debrief
19:53 Why Clio chose to include mental wellbeing in her retreats
24:02 Taking time to do the inner work
25:29 Different experiences of pregnancy and birth during the Covid crisis.
30:11 Why we shouldn’t second guess our reaction to being isolated after birth
33:20 How Clio takes the pressure off herself
35:46 The lessons Clio has learnt from the effect of Covid on her business
37:50 How Clio incorporates play into her life
43:58 Escaping the Pressure Pandemic
44:46 Clio’s takeaway for you
Website www.andbreathewellbeing.com
Instagram @andbreathewellbeing
Join the Pause Purpose Play group on Facebook
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 22, 2020
Thursday Oct 22, 2020
In this episode, I’ll talk about how busyness kills productivity and how flexibility saves it, through softening rigid rules and SHOULDs into softer COULDs.
I discuss the different reactions I hear from clients to a full to-do list, and three actions you can take to find a more sustainable pace in your work.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram @the_thomas_connection
Facebook www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 15, 2020
Thursday Oct 15, 2020
In this week's episode, I talk to Suzy Reading about self-care in tough times. Suzy is a mother of two, an author, Chartered Psychologist and Coach. She specialises in self-care, helping people manage their stress, emotions, and energetic bank balance. It was her life experience of motherhood colliding with the terminal illness of her father that sparked her passion for self-care which she now teaches to her clients, young and old, to cope during periods of stress, loss and change and to boost their resilience in the face of future challenges.
Suzy's first book ‘The Self-Care Revolution’ published by Aster came out in 2017, 'Stand Tall Like a Mountain: Mindfulness & Self-Care for Children and Parents' and 'The Little Book of Self-Care’ came out in 2019 and her new book ‘Self-Care for Tough Times’ came out in 2020, during the COVID-19 lockdown.
03:55 Suzy busts the myth that being tough on yourself gets you through tough times
05:44 Overcoming harsh self-criticism with self-forgiveness
08:23 Making healthier choices when talking to ourselves kindly
10:14 Self-compassion and the nourishing action of self-care
13:54 How 'compassion' supports us in a way that 'resilience' doesn't
16:30 Not letting maternal guilt stopping us from nourishing ourselves
19:42 Pressure and success in motherhood - the Nourish app
23:28 The toxicity of the compensatory crutches we use to cope
26:50 What to do when you realise your current habits are unsustainable
31:11 Suzy's micro movements approach to change
31:58 Making daily habits more nourishing
33:02 Suzy shares a physical exercise to help with posture
43:16 We talk about the power of visualisation if you are not able to physically play during hard times
44:26 Suzy's takeaway for you - to let guilt slide from your shoulders
Website www.suzyreading.co.uk/
Instagram @suzyreading
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 08, 2020
Thursday Oct 08, 2020
In this episode, I talk about the problems that come from trying to please all the people, all the time - and how this is especially problematic in your relationship.
Do you struggle to say no to others, even when saying yes means less time with your family, or less time for you?
Do you find it hard to ask for your needs to be met?
Or are you living with someone who finds it hard to articulate what they want?
Do they constantly run around doing tasks for others, until they burn themselves out?
It takes courage to balance your own needs with those of others, especially resisting the urge to people please, but with a small steps approach, we can overcome that sense of obligation and learn to ask for what we need.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram @the_thomas_connection
Facebook www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media