Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday Feb 11, 2021
Thursday Feb 11, 2021
In today's slightly more vulnerable and personal episode, I'm celebrating pub day! It's finally here - my new book, The Lasting Connection, published today!
I will tell you about my journey into writing, and how I made space for writing this book as part of my business, to not run the risk of burning out in the process.
Order my book at Bookshop here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Tuesday Feb 09, 2021
Tuesday Feb 09, 2021
In this episode, I talk about cultivating a garden where you and your partner can grow into the best versions of yourselves, by letting compassion flow out from yourself.
This isn't easy when we are under pressure, but doing small acts can create a climate of warmth, trust and respect.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter eight of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relationships experts coming out every Thursday, as usual.
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Monday Feb 08, 2021
Monday Feb 08, 2021
In this episode, I talk about understanding the different versions of your 'self' that show up in your relationship, and cultivating a compassionate self.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter seven of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relationships experts coming out every Thursday, as usual.
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Feb 04, 2021
Thursday Feb 04, 2021
In this week's conversation I talk to Sophie Burch about taking care of our mental and relationship health before and after birth.
Sophie Burch aka The Mamma Coach is on a mission to put mental wellbeing more on the map in pregnancy, birth and parenting. She has 14 years as a mother to 4 boys (including twins), as a perinatal therapist and coach, and a birth trauma and PND survivor. Her experience has shaped who she is and awakened her to a life of compassion and deep empathy for everyone from pre-conception through parenting to menopause. Her approach is simple: to allow people to feel held and heard, safe and worthy of love and self-acceptance.
We talk about:
4:10 Sophie’s own story and mental health struggles
9:15 The birth of Sophie’s twins
13:36 The ripple effect of taking care of your mental health
15:55 Teaching practitioners as well as parents
19:40 Working within our current pre and post-natal systems
20:34 The experience of fatherhood
22:07 Post-natal depression in fathers
25:00 The pressures of the patriarchy
27:15 Nurturing ourselves
30:34 The challenges of parenthood for over-achievers
31:36 Intrusive thoughts
32:03 Loss of identity
33:35 Expectations and perfectionism
34:50 Recognising that you are struggling
35:48 The effect of parenting on couples’ relationships
38:08 The importance of a compassionate relationship while parenting
39:40 Resentment and unrealistic expectations
43:40 Preparing for stormy seas together
46:26 Modelling compassion to our children
48:39 the Nourish app
50:29 How Sophie pauses
51:50 Visualisation
53:10 Play - dancing and bouncing
55:18 Sophie’s takeaway for you
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Instagram: @themammacoach
Facebook & Twitter: @themammacoach
Website: www.themammacoach.com
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday Feb 03, 2021
Wednesday Feb 03, 2021
It's not just the absence of something negative that makes for lasting connections - reducing your arguments, hostility or criticism. You also need the presence of something positive, something good. A feeling of closeness, a bond, feeling content in each other's company and feeling safe.
One of the first steps towards a lasting connection, is understanding your emotions. If you don't get them, how will you communicate them to your partner?
In this episode, I talk about how the emotions systems; the Threat, Drive and Soothe Systems, impact on your relationship, and how you can work with your responses to deepen your connection with your partner.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter six of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relationships experts coming out every Thursday, as usual.
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Monday Feb 01, 2021
Monday Feb 01, 2021
If you don't notice your partner, how can you improve your connection with them?
If you don't notice your own feelings, thoughts or urges, how can you express what you want or need in your relationship?
In this episode, I talk about how practicing formal or informal mindfulness can help you to calm your time-travelling brain, connect with the world around you in the here and now, and connect more deeply with your partner.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter five of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relationships experts coming out every Thursday, as usual.
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Saturday Jan 30, 2021
Saturday Jan 30, 2021
In this episode, I talk about the characteristics that make or break a relationship. I invite you to consider which attributes your current or past relationship has, and to examine your intentions to help you move forward with strengthening your bond.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter four of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relationships experts coming out every Thursday, as usual.
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Jan 28, 2021
Thursday Jan 28, 2021
In this week's conversation I talk to Dr. Tracy Dalgleish about how our attachment styles affect our relationship dynamics, and how we can change the patterns we fall into with our partner.
Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a Clinical Psychologist and couples therapist who helps individuals and couples navigate the challenges we all face in our relationships and within ourselves to create a more meaningful life through therapy, wellness seminars, and her work outside of the therapy room. For over 15 years, Dr. Dalgleish has provided direct clinical services as well as researching, writing, and speaking about relationships. She provides psychological assessments, diagnosis, and individual and couple therapy for a variety of difficulties, including depression, anxiety, postpartum difficulties, stress and burnout, and relationship difficulties.
We talk about:
5:59 Interdependence
9:26 The 4 S's of social attachment - safety, security, seen and soothed
13:05 Turn taking in relationships
15:14 Incompatibility in attachment styles
19:50 Secure attachment
20:16 Anxious attachment
20:40 Avoidant attachment
21:39 Fearful or disorganised attachment
25:58 Being on the same team, when you're differently 'flammable'
29:40 Common cycles couples all into and how to break them
32:54 Toxic masculinity and emotional expression
36:48 Perfectionism and unrealistic expectations
39:52 Pervasive myths about relationships
41:00 When to go your separate ways
46:17 Tolerating relationship calibrations
49:03 How Dr Tracy pauses and plays
52:25 Dr Tracy's takeaway for you
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Instagram: @Dr.TracyD
Facebook & Twitter: @DrTracyD
Website: https://www.drtracyd.com
Podcast: I’m Not Your Shrink https://drtracyd.com/podcast
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Wednesday Jan 27, 2021
Wednesday Jan 27, 2021
In this episode, I talk about the strains on connection that modern relationships experience, including hardship, pressure to be perfect and globalisation, and the antidote to all this disconnection - compassion.
This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter three of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relationships experts coming out every Thursday, as usual.
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Monday Jan 25, 2021
Monday Jan 25, 2021
In this episode, I discuss how different couples have different levels of 'flammability'. Understanding how flammable you and your partner are, and what your triggers are, can help you to nurture your relationship towards the glowing embers stage - where you can roast some marshmallows instead of burning your relationship house down.
You can expect these special episodes, celebrating the launch of my new book, The Lasting Connection, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relationships experts coming out every Thursday, as usual.
Pre-order my book at Amazon here.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media