Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday Nov 19, 2020
Thursday Nov 19, 2020
Notice how hard it is to slow down, in a world which promotes rushing
We are caught in an illusion that rushing saves us time, makes us more productive and wins us greater success – in fact, it’s the polar opposite.
In this episode, I'm going to bust some productivity myths around rushing and set you straight on why it helps to rush less.
I'd love you to join in with my challenge to rush less, pause more, by sharing your photo on Instagram with the hashtag #pausepurposeplaypodcast and tagging me, @the_thomas_connection
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Nov 12, 2020
Thursday Nov 12, 2020
In this episode, I'm speaking to leadership coach Katy Murray (Katy Catalyst) about how to step up to your ambition, passion and potential - without burning out.
Katy leads Catalyst Collective a boutique consultancy focusing on Equity Inclusion and Diversity. She coaches change making leaders and entrepreneurs 1-1 and leads the Mastermind Change Making Women.
02:39 Katy explains how she works with leaders and change-makers
04:07 How to step up without burning out
05:39 Katy's experience of getting close to burn out
06:45 Making yourself find a sustainable pace
07:35 So much of our learning comes from mistakes
10:05 How resilience can help us in these difficult times
13:15 The need for leaders to relearn self-compassion
15:08 Thinking about your wider network
16:20 Creating a new, less isolated, form of leadership
18:13 Toxic gratitude
19:12 How Katy finds pause in her life
22:40 Three questions to ask yourself every day
26:05 Lowering expectations to create space
29:44 Setting expectations, with the example of email auto-responders
32:20 Two questions for clarifying purpose and acknowledging success
37:23 How Katy finds joy and play in her life
40:27 Finding play in the workplace
44:30 Katy's gift for you
Connect with Katy on Instagram and Linked In
Sign up to Katy’s newsletter Catalyst Notes for coaching prompts, #PowerPractices, + practical leadership tips.
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media.
Thursday Nov 05, 2020
Thursday Nov 05, 2020
In this episode, I expand on a metaphor for how we all cope with stressful times differently - as we are all sailing on the same stormy seas right now, but we all do so in differently equipped boats. This can help you step out of blaming and shaming yourself for your reactions to our current circumstances.
Here I consider why it is that you can validate your loved one's feelings, and provide helpful suggestions, whereas you might be harsh on yourself. As the UK enters a second lockdown, I invite you to treat yourself with the same compassion that you would extend to a friend.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram @the_thomas_connection
Facebook www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 29, 2020
Thursday Oct 29, 2020
This week I’m talking to Clio Wood, a Women's Health and Sex Positivity Advocate, and the Founder of &Breathe - award-winning wellbeing and fitness retreats for pre/postnatal, parenthood and peri-menopause. Clio created &Breathe following the birth of her daughter in 2014 and her experiences with trauma, postnatal depression, and painful sex/pelvic floor issues and is passionate about helping other women be their best selves.
02:11 Clio tells the story of her traumatic birth and recovery
07:23 How the transition to motherhood affects your relationship
10:31 Dealing with the focus of recovery being on the baby
14:41 Some little-known practical help that is available to new parents
15:43 The importance of a birth debrief
19:53 Why Clio chose to include mental wellbeing in her retreats
24:02 Taking time to do the inner work
25:29 Different experiences of pregnancy and birth during the Covid crisis.
30:11 Why we shouldn’t second guess our reaction to being isolated after birth
33:20 How Clio takes the pressure off herself
35:46 The lessons Clio has learnt from the effect of Covid on her business
37:50 How Clio incorporates play into her life
43:58 Escaping the Pressure Pandemic
44:46 Clio’s takeaway for you
Website www.andbreathewellbeing.com
Instagram @andbreathewellbeing
Join the Pause Purpose Play group on Facebook
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 22, 2020
Thursday Oct 22, 2020
In this episode, I’ll talk about how busyness kills productivity and how flexibility saves it, through softening rigid rules and SHOULDs into softer COULDs.
I discuss the different reactions I hear from clients to a full to-do list, and three actions you can take to find a more sustainable pace in your work.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram @the_thomas_connection
Facebook www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 15, 2020
Thursday Oct 15, 2020
In this week's episode, I talk to Suzy Reading about self-care in tough times. Suzy is a mother of two, an author, Chartered Psychologist and Coach. She specialises in self-care, helping people manage their stress, emotions, and energetic bank balance. It was her life experience of motherhood colliding with the terminal illness of her father that sparked her passion for self-care which she now teaches to her clients, young and old, to cope during periods of stress, loss and change and to boost their resilience in the face of future challenges.
Suzy's first book ‘The Self-Care Revolution’ published by Aster came out in 2017, 'Stand Tall Like a Mountain: Mindfulness & Self-Care for Children and Parents' and 'The Little Book of Self-Care’ came out in 2019 and her new book ‘Self-Care for Tough Times’ came out in 2020, during the COVID-19 lockdown.
03:55 Suzy busts the myth that being tough on yourself gets you through tough times
05:44 Overcoming harsh self-criticism with self-forgiveness
08:23 Making healthier choices when talking to ourselves kindly
10:14 Self-compassion and the nourishing action of self-care
13:54 How 'compassion' supports us in a way that 'resilience' doesn't
16:30 Not letting maternal guilt stopping us from nourishing ourselves
19:42 Pressure and success in motherhood - the Nourish app
23:28 The toxicity of the compensatory crutches we use to cope
26:50 What to do when you realise your current habits are unsustainable
31:11 Suzy's micro movements approach to change
31:58 Making daily habits more nourishing
33:02 Suzy shares a physical exercise to help with posture
43:16 We talk about the power of visualisation if you are not able to physically play during hard times
44:26 Suzy's takeaway for you - to let guilt slide from your shoulders
Website www.suzyreading.co.uk/
Instagram @suzyreading
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 08, 2020
Thursday Oct 08, 2020
In this episode, I talk about the problems that come from trying to please all the people, all the time - and how this is especially problematic in your relationship.
Do you struggle to say no to others, even when saying yes means less time with your family, or less time for you?
Do you find it hard to ask for your needs to be met?
Or are you living with someone who finds it hard to articulate what they want?
Do they constantly run around doing tasks for others, until they burn themselves out?
It takes courage to balance your own needs with those of others, especially resisting the urge to people please, but with a small steps approach, we can overcome that sense of obligation and learn to ask for what we need.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram @the_thomas_connection
Facebook www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
Thursday Oct 01, 2020
Thursday Oct 01, 2020
In this episode, I talk to Executive Coach and founder of Wisdom for Working Mums, Nicky Lowe about when her body told her in no uncertain terms to pause. She experienced burnout in a corporate career, following her high standards and need for striving.
Nicky is a qualified and accredited Executive Coach who is an advocate for achievement orientated, motivated, ambitious women who also want to be amazing mums. She's spent the last 15 years being invited by some of the world’s largest organisations to support their leaders as an executive coach. Many of these are working mums and this led her to contribute to the book “Mentoring for Working Parents” based on her experience. As a busy working mum of 2 she knows only too well the challenges of combining motherhood with the work that fulfils her. Her passion is helping women combine their work and motherhood in a successful and sustainable way - without losing their sanity or wellbeing!
03:30 Nicky finding herself trapped as a ‘corporate prisoner’ and retraining as a coach
05:45 Hitting a brick wall of exhaustion as a new mum - adrenal fatigue
09:30 How Nicky turned a painful episode into a life change
14:30 Finding the balance between motherhood and work on our own terms
20:00 Consciously choosing to pause as an ambitious woman
21:20 Redefining self worth away from productivity
24:45 What Nicky does to rest and recover
29:30 Recalibrating needs as circumstances change
32:15 How Nicky allows herself to play
35:40 Finding joy in imperfect play
Website: www.wisdomforworkingmums.co.uk
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nicky_wisdomforworkingmums/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/wisdomforworkingmums/
Thursday Sep 24, 2020
Thursday Sep 24, 2020
This episode focuses on how a lack of problem-solving can get you stuck going around in circles in your life, and your relationship, but even if you’re not in a relationship, this episode is still for you. I will tell you about getting started, continuing and completing problem-solving, guiding you through a step by step approach to productive problem solving, if you stay with me to the end of the episode. I know you have lots to do, but if you keep addressing your problems the wrong way, you’ll have even less time to do those things.
You can't solve your problems when you're overwhelmed, exhausted and stuck.
- Hands up if you've kept going in an argument with your partner long after any chance of resolving things.
- Hands up if you've kept thinking about something you NEED to solve, and it just goes around and around in your head.
- Hands up if you feel so overwhelmed and anxious by the problem that you don't even START to find a resolution.
- Hands up if you often don't even notice how much time you've wasted on trying to figure something out.
Imagine how your relationship would be if you could approach your problems together.
Thursday Sep 17, 2020
Thursday Sep 17, 2020
In this episode, I talk to actor, personal branding coach and host of Dreaming and Doing podcast, Nicky Raby, about her career, how we find the courage to pause and reflect on what we want from our careers. We touch on making mistakes in business and finding play through flexibility. And we finish with Nicky's one piece of advice for you.
Nicky is a huge advocate of the portfolio career; she’s an actor, personal branding coach, writer and speaker. She is passionate about supporting other women (and men!) to create a business and life that defines their version of success. She trained at Mountview and continues to enjoy a thriving career across theatre, television, film and commercial work. She has worked with Stylist Magazine, Nat West, MTV, Google to name a few.
Her podcast ‘Dreaming and Doing with Nicky Raby’ regularly features on the top 100 business podcasts on iTunes and is heard worldwide. She has worked with over 1000 clients to help them consolidate their personal brand and become visible so they can do more of what they love and get paid for it.
She has a son and a daughter and lives in London.
03:00 - The power of a portfolio career
05:41 - How Nicky has navigated the mindset behind self-promotion
08:30 - Allowing yourself to be a work in progress
12:00 - The limiting beliefs of ‘enough’
14:14 - Handling criticism in your career
18:46 - Achieving success without burnout
22:15 - How does Nicky pause? - pausing through movement
26:16 - Doing more of what you love
29:35 - Making mistakes in business
33:55 - Finding play in her work - flexibility
38:48 - Investing in yourself
44:08 - Nicky’s gift for the audience - finding the right answers
Website: www.nickyraby.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nickyraby
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nickyraby/