Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you. In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships. The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work. My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
Episodes
Thursday Dec 14, 2023
Dealing with comparison culture at Christmas
Thursday Dec 14, 2023
Thursday Dec 14, 2023
In the previous episodes I have talked about festive perfectionism and festive burnout – basically from doing all the things, and trying to do them perfectly.
This week, I want to continue the theme by thinking about comparison culture at Christmas.
If you feel upset after you’ve seen other people’s pretty Christmas photos, with their kids in matching pyjamas and being all smiles in front of the tree, whilst your kids are murdering each other in the background in your own house, and you draw a deep sigh about the chaos, then this is for you.
I’ll keep it brief, as I know you have a lot on in December. My operations manager and I were reflecting on that over text message this week, with her saying ‘December is a joke’ and me replying ‘December is a joke that isn’t funny’.
I’ve connected with several people through my act of rebellion against a gingerbread house in a recent Instagram reel – yes, I gave it the finger. No, I’m not a Grinch. Go check it out, for the lolz, as the kids say.
The overwhelm is REAL. I’ve noticed that part of that overwhelm and perfectionistic pressure around the holidays is also linked to comparison culture. I was recently interviewed about perfectionism in the Christmas dossier for Psychologies magazine, so you can check that out too for more inspiration around how to let go of perfectionism at Christmas.
Links:
Connect with me on Instagram to see the flippant gingerbread house: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection
Put your name down on this link to be the first to know about the ADHD membership: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhd
Link for advert: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright
info@thethomasconnection.co.uk to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.
Thursday Dec 07, 2023
Festive Perfectionism - Finding Joy in the Imperfections
Thursday Dec 07, 2023
Thursday Dec 07, 2023
Do you feel the pressure to have a 'perfect' Christmas?
In this episode, I discuss the concept of festive perfectionism.
This refers to the pressure people put on themselves to achieve a perfect holiday period with perfect crafts, baking, decorations, and activities.
I share tips on how to let go of this pressure and embrace imperfections to find joy and connection in the holidays. Plus I encourage listeners to evaluate what really serves them during the holiday season and to allow themselves to not do everything perfectly.
00:00 Introduction to Festive Perfectionism
01:33 Observations on the Rise of Festive Perfectionism
03:30 Areas of Festive Perfectionism
04:11 Crafts: Embracing Imperfections
05:53 Baking: Tolerating Mess and Imperfection
07:39 Decorating the Tree: Letting Go of Symmetry
08:46 Activities and Days Out: Avoiding Overstretching
09:30 Conclusion: Choosing What to Perfect
To calm the overwhelm you might feel right now, download this free worksheet, Calm the Overwhelm: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/calm
Thursday Nov 30, 2023
Avoiding Festive Burnout by Stopping People Pleasing
Thursday Nov 30, 2023
Thursday Nov 30, 2023
The festive season is a period often riddled with people-pleasing pressures - no wonder you might feel close to burnout.
So, today we're unpacking strategies for maintaining your well-being, amidst the hustle and bustle of holiday commitments.
If you're feeling overwhelmed with the endless to-dos and social expectations that come with this time of year, this episode is for you.
We'll explore how to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and say 'no' when needed, ensuring you enjoy the festivities without sacrificing your peace of mind.
Get ready to learn how to navigate the season with joy and balance.
Here are the highlights:
(1:25) Prioritizing self-care during the holiday season
(3:20) Managing workload and setting boundaries
(7:17) Taking time for yourself this Christmas
(9:21) Managing holiday stress and perfectionism
Find out more:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright
info@thethomasconnection.co.uk to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.
Download this free PDF on how to calm the overwhelm - www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/calm
Thursday Nov 23, 2023
Permission to Look After Yourself When You’re Ill
Thursday Nov 23, 2023
Thursday Nov 23, 2023
Today, we’re delving into the importance of self-care, especially when you're not feeling your best.
In this episode, we're exploring how to balance your needs with your daily demands.
I’m offering practical advice on giving yourself permission to rest and recover.
Whether it's a common cold or a more pressing health issue, we must listen to our bodies and adjust our activities accordingly.
So, get ready to learn how to care for yourself in a way that respects your body and your busy schedule.
Here are the highlights:
(1:14) Self-care and prioritizing physical health
(5:32) Managing physical health conditions while maintaining ambition
(9:02) Self-care during illness
(13:16) Self-care and permission to prioritize needs
Find out more:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright
info@thethomasconnection.co.uk to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.
Thursday Nov 16, 2023
Humour, Resilience, and the Rollercoaster of Motherhood With Emily-Jane Clark
Thursday Nov 16, 2023
Thursday Nov 16, 2023
Welcome to this episode where humour, resilience, and the rollercoaster of motherhood take centre stage.
Today, we're thrilled to have the incredibly talented Emily-Jane Clark, a comedy TV writer and author, whose witty perspective on life's ups and downs is both refreshing and relatable.
Emily's journey through postnatal depression, anxiety, and OCD, coupled with her unique approach to tackling these challenges through humour, offers not only laughter but a deep sense of connection.
In this episode, we delve into how humour can be a powerful tool in dealing with life's complexities.
Get ready for a blend of heartwarming insights and laughter-inducing moments!
Here are the highlights:
(3:19) Writing, motherhood, and mental health
(11:28) Societal pressure and insecurity in motherhood
(19:59) OCD habits and their impact on anxiety
(22:46) Using humour to cope with dark topics
(29:17) Managing OCD and anxiety with personal insights
(39:20) Writing children's books with humour and purpose
(42:02) Coping with motherhood and mental health
Emily's website: https://www.emilyjaneclark.com/
Find out more:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright
info@thethomasconnection.co.uk to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.
Thursday Nov 09, 2023
Good Enough is not Failure
Thursday Nov 09, 2023
Thursday Nov 09, 2023
“Good enough” is not a curse word.
“Good enough” is not a sign of failure.
“Good enough” is workable.
“Good enough” will set you free.
In today’s episode, we’re reflecting on how much time we’ve wasted on things that don't really matter.
All because we didn't allow ourselves permission to do things just “good enough”.
Join me today as we discuss how “good enough” will save you time, energy, and potentially money.
Here are the highlights:
(1:41) Imperfections and self-compassion
(6:28) Avoiding burnout for female entrepreneurs
(9:20) Embracing imperfection during the holidays
(13:55) Letting go of perfection and embracing “good enough”
Find out more:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright
info@thethomasconnection.co.uk to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.
Thursday Nov 02, 2023
How low is Your Energy Battery?
Thursday Nov 02, 2023
Thursday Nov 02, 2023
When thinking about your capacity, consider looking at your energy levels as a battery.
This is all about energy management.
You don’t want to be running on empty.
You want to be at capacity, doing all the things that matter most to you.
This is especially important if you feel overwhelmed or rundown.
So, join me as we discuss what drains your battery and energy.
Here are the highlights:
(1:58) Energy management for busy people
(6:20) Burnout prevention for ambitious women
(8:02) Managing energy and self-compassion
(12:14) Setting clear boundaries
Find out more:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright
info@thethomasconnection.co.uk to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.
Thursday Oct 26, 2023
Morning Routines - What to do Instead of Putting Pressure on Yourself
Thursday Oct 26, 2023
Thursday Oct 26, 2023
Women come to me saying they have no energy.
We have demands on our time, pressures on our capacity, drains on our energy and expectations on our performance.
No wonder we feel frantic and overwhelmed when we juggle that much.
That's why I don’t do morning routines.
But there are things we can do instead.
So, join me as we discuss energy, nervous system activation, and how to soften rigid rules into something more manageable.
Here are the highlights:
(1:42) Managing energy levels in ADHD
(5:26) Avoiding burnout for female entrepreneurs
(6:57) Flexible self-care options
(9:59) Morning routines and self-care
Find out more:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright
info@thethomasconnection.co.uk to ask Michaela about Burn Bright.
Thursday Oct 19, 2023
People Pleasing, Saying no and Setting Boundaries
Thursday Oct 19, 2023
Thursday Oct 19, 2023
People pleasing goes hand in hand with perfectionism and compassion.
And most of the time, people pleasers struggle with saying no.
They spread themselves too thin by agreeing to things they don't want, or have the capacity to do.
It can lead to feelings of resentment, exhaustion, irritation, and even burnout when we repeatedly ignore our own limits, in order to please others.
So, join me today as we discuss people pleasing, saying no and setting boundaries.
Here are the highlights:
(1:43) People pleasing and setting boundaries
(5:33) Burnout prevention for women in business
(7:33) Setting boundaries in relationships
(10:32) Prioritizing self-care
Here is the link to my workshop - People Pleasing in Relationships.
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
Embracing Impostor Syndrome - With Jill Stoddard
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
Not every perfectionistic person has impostor syndrome.
Not everyone who is bothered by impostor syndrome has perfectionism.
But there is an overlap between the two.
The fear of being found out as a fraud can make us feel that we’re not good enough.
So, today we're talking about impostor syndrome with my guest Jill Stoddard.
So, if you’re bothered by these feelings whenever you do something new, this episode is for you.
Join us.
Here are the highlights:
(3:08) Imposter syndrome impacting successful women
(13:29) Those feelings of self-doubt
(22:57) Vulnerability and imposter syndrome
(28:30) Burnout for women in leadership
(36:58) Growth and midlife clarity
(44:12) Imposter syndrome impacting success
(46:56) Your inner self-criticism
Find out more:
Order Jill's book Impostor No More here:
Jill's website: https://jillstoddard.com/