Pause Purpose Play

Do you look like you’re coping on the outside… whilst feeling overwhelmed underneath it all?

Many high-achieving women with ADHD go undiagnosed for years because they appear successful, capable and “high functioning” externally — whilst internally battling chronic overwhelm, perfectionism, anxiety and exhaustion.

In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, Clinical Psychologist and ADHD specialist Michaela Thomas explores why ADHD gets missed in high-achieving women, and the hidden cost of masking, overcompensating and holding everything together.

Inside the episode, Michaela explores:

• ADHD masking and overfunctioning in women
• why intelligent and successful women often get missed
• the “good girl” adaptation and perfectionism
• ADHD burnout and nervous system overwhelm
• the difference between coping and truly thriving
• why many women don’t seek support until later in life

Because many women with ADHD were never truly “fine”.
They simply became exceptionally skilled at hiding the struggle — from others and from themselves.

If this episode resonates and you’d like to explore ADHD assessment further, head on over to www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhd to learn more about compassionate online and in-person ADHD assessments for women. 

In this episode, I’m sharing a more personal reflection on what it’s actually like to move through grief when your brain is already wired for intensity, sensitivity, and self-questioning.
Because one of the things I’ve noticed…n is how quickly grief can get mislabelled as avoidance.

You might think:
 “Why can’t I just get back to normal?”
 “Am I slipping?”
 “Do I just need more discipline?”

 

But what if that’s not what’s happening at all?

 In this episode, we explore:

• The difference between avoidance vs readiness after grief (and why that matters)
• How your nervous system processes loss (and why you feel so tired)
• The productivity pressure ADHDers carry, to push through and perform
• What it means to listen inward instead of overriding yourself
• Gentle ways to support yourself when you feel raw, slower, or not quite ready

 Want support with this work?
If this episode resonates, this is exactly the kind of space I create inside my coaching work —
 where we move away from burnout and pressure, and towards self-trust, nervous system safety, and sustainable ways of living and working with ADHD.

 Join me in person at Golden – 15th May in London
 A space to connect, unmask, and be around women who get it—without having to explain yourself.

Golden In Person Event May 2026

 

I explain that “time optimist” isn’t my term but a gentler Swedish alternative to “time blindness,” reframing chronic lateness and overcommitting as optimism about what fits into limited time rather than moral failure. From an ADHD and executive-function lens, I describe how difficulty sensing time’s passage, prioritizing, task initiation, distraction, and hyperfocus can lead to double-booking, missed deadlines, and “deadline dancing,” even when people care deeply and feel shame. I discuss how stress can worsen planning and focus, how punctuality varies by brain wiring and socialization, and why rigid professions can be harder than flexible work arrangements. I connect time optimism with procrastination, perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and self-criticism, especially under modern pressures. I share practical supports like visual timers, time tracking, adding buffers, tolerating being early, reflecting on how rushing feels, and using self-compassion as motivation to change.

In this episode, Michaela explores the difference between trying to fit in and truly belonging, especially for ADHD and neurodivergent women who’ve been labeled “too much”—too sensitive, intense, chatty, or emotional.

She reflects on how our bodies often sense when something is off in social settings, from subtle exclusions to polite but insincere connections, and how this can fuel overthinking and rejection sensitivity. Michaela also shares how things change when you’re with the right people: less replaying conversations, more ease, and the start of unmasking—not by force, but in the presence of safety.

Events mentioned in this episode:

• Sweden ADHD Women’s Retreat (11–14 June)
  A small, curated space (only 5 spots) for rest, reflection, and connection
  https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/shine-retreat-2026/
• Golden – London (15 May)
  A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded women
  https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/ 

In this episode, Michaela Thomas talks about the common feeling of not fitting in—especially for late-identified ADHD women—and how it can create a constant background self-monitoring of how we come across.

She shares a personal moment of feeling “too much” on the school run while wearing bright pinks, and how small daily flickers of self-consciousness can build into a belief that we’re different and need to adapt by overexplaining, overapologizing, shrinking, or camouflaging to feel safe and accepted.

Drawing on Brené Brown’s distinction between fitting in and belonging, Michaela explores how these coping strategies often come from past experiences of criticism, misunderstanding, or exclusion, and how the cost can be exhaustion, social burnout, loneliness, and losing a sense of self. She close with a compassionate reframe: you don’t need to change who you are to belong—you may just need the right people and spaces, including my London meetup on May 15.

Join Michaela:

• Golden – London (15 May)
  A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded women
  https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/ 

 

If you feel constantly “on” - ticking off tasks, replying to messages, holding everything together - this episode is your reminder that your best thinking doesn’t happen in the busy… it happens in the pause.

In this solo episode, Michaela Thomas explores the power of deeper reflection - and why creating space (not more productivity) is often the missing piece for ADHD brains.

From a simple walk through London to imagining a retreat in Sweden, this episode invites you to rethink what rest, creativity, and problem-solving really look like.

In this episode, Michaela covers:

• Why constant busyness blocks creativity and insight
• The role of the default mode network (DMN) in ADHD — and why mind-wandering is not a flaw
• How “being away with the fairies” might actually be where your best ideas live
• The hidden cost of executive functioning overload (yes, even by 9am…)
• Why rest doesn’t have to mean being still or silent
• How movement (walking, swimming, singing) can unlock reflection and emotional processing
• The power of unstructured space vs over-planned routines
• A reframe on retreats — from “doing” to being, connecting, and allowing

Events mentioned in this episode:

• Sweden ADHD Women’s Retreat (11–14 June)
  A small, curated space (only 5 spots) for rest, reflection, and connection
  https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/shine-retreat-2026/
• Golden – London (15 May)
  A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded women
  https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/ 

 

When neurodivergence isn’t properly understood at work, even highly capable people can end up struggling without the right support.

In this episode, Michaela Thomas is joined by employment lawyer Jodie Hill, founder of Thrive Law, to explore reasonable adjustments, psychological safety, and how employers can better support neurodivergent staff to thrive.

Drawing on both legal and psychological perspectives — from Jodie Hill’s work in employment law and Michaela's work delivering neurodivergence training and compassionate leadership development — they explore what happens when capacity is mistaken for capability, and how to build compassionate, psychologically safe and neuroinclusive workplaces where people don’t just cope, but truly flourish.

In this episode, they cover:
* the difference between capability and capacity
* what reasonable adjustments really mean in practice
* why unsupported neurodivergence can look like underperformance
* the role of psychological safety in disclosure and support
* common mistakes employers make
* when a role may be the wrong fit and how to handle that with compassion and lawfulness

A powerful conversation for both employees and employers, especially during Neurodiversity Celebration Week.

If your organisation is looking to better support neurodivergent staff, Michaela delivers psychological neurodiversity training, leadership development, and culture change programmes through all-staff training and executive coaching.   Read more on www.thethomasconnection.co.uk 

To work with Jodie and her team at Thrive Law, head to www.thrivelaw.co.uk 

If this episode resonates, do share it with someone navigating neurodiversity at work.

In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela welcomes clinical psychologist and knitting enthusiast Dr. Mia Hobbs.

The conversation explores the therapeutic benefits of knitting, especially for those dealing with perfectionism, mindfulness challenges, and ADHD.

Dr Hobbs, co-founder of Creative Restoration and host of the Why I Knit podcast, shares her insights on how knitting can be used as a tool for self-care and mental well-being.

The episode delves into the common traps knitters face, such as perfectionism, and emphasises the importance of engaging with creative activities. It also touches on the social and psychological benefits of knitting, making it a metaphor for life and a means of active rest and relaxation.

Connect with Mia Hobbs:

creativerestoration.org

 

Many ADHD leaders are brilliant in a crisis.
Quick thinking. Pattern spotting. Calm under pressure.
But what if the same brain that thrives in urgency is also quietly creating it?

In this episode, Michaela explores:

• Why ADHD nervous systems light up in chaos
• The link between dysregulation and “micro-mistakes”
• Shame loops around small accidents
• The difference between responsibility and self-attack
• Why slowing down sharpens your leadership rather than softening it

If you’re tired of constantly fixing fires - this conversation will help.
🌿Join Me in Sweden — Shine Retreat 2026
Ready to step out of reactive mode and into steady, sustainable leadership?

Shine Retreat 2026 is a restorative, psychology-informed immersion for high-achieving women who want to burn bright without burning out.

• Regulate your nervous system.
• Reconnect with purpose.
• Lead from clarity instead of chaos.
• Swim in a lake, sit in a sauna, wander in the woodlands and just... be.

👉Learn more here and put down a deposit to secure your place - only 6 spots available!  

Are you under performing… or are you under-supported?
In this episode, I reflect on delivering neurodivergence training to managers and unpack a powerful workplace question: when someone isn’t meeting expectations, is it capability — or context?

Through a compassion-focused lens, we explore:

• The difference between equality and equity
• Why clarity around feedback and expectations matters deeply
• How rejection sensitivity can distort workplace communication
• Why ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse
• The shame–overwork–burnout cycle many high achievers fall into
• How psychological safety improves performance for everyone

Neurodivergent performance may not look neurotypical — and that doesn’t make it wrong.
Whether you're a leader supporting staff or someone quietly masking and overworking to hide your struggles, this episode invites a shift: from blame to curiosity, from fear to compassion.

Want to build a more neuroinclusive workplace?
I deliver talks and training across the UK on neurodivergence, psychological safety and compassionate leadership.

Connect with me:

LinkedIn

Website

Let’s help your people thrive — not just survive.