Pause Purpose Play

Nervous system regulation without wanky wellness or woo

Do you feel frazzled, fizzy, reactive, or on edge? Your nervous system might be dysregulated.

In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, I talk about something I know so many of us struggle with – regulating our nervous systems. You’ve probably seen all the advice flying around on social media – ice baths, cold plunges, endless hacks – but a lot of it isn’t grounded in science, and even more importantly, it isn’t tailored to you.

Instead of chasing trends, I want to help you find regulation practices that actually work for your unique brain and body. For me, that looks less like forcing myself into an ice bath, and more like something simple and soothing – like warm water and slowing down with my breath. Breathwork is one of the most powerful (and free!) tools we all have at our disposal.

And if you’d like a little help bringing your nervous system back into balance, I’ve created something special: The Rest to Reset experience. It’s a free 7-day reset, designed to give you practical, manageable tools to regulate your nervous system – without adding pressure or overwhelm.

✨ Join The Rest to Reset experience for free here → www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset 
We start 22nd of Sept!

How perfectionism and self-criticism impact ADHD women, with Kristin Carder

Ever felt weighed down by shame, self-criticism, or parenting guilt as a woman with ADHD? You’re not alone.

In this vulnerable episode, Michaela welcomes Kristin Carder, host of the hit podcast “I Have ADHD,” for a frank and compassionate conversation about the hidden struggles of ambitious, neurodivergent women.

Together, they discuss how ADHD shows up as internal chaos, why criticism and rejection hurt so much, and what it takes to forgive yourself and repair with your kids.

If you battle perfectionism, loud inner criticism, or regret how you’ve parented in the past, this episode offers comfort and practical support.

Discover why compassion beats shame—and why it’s never too late to start again.

Highlights:

• Kristin’s personal ADHD journey and how it shaped her podcast

• The reality of rejection sensitivity and harsh online feedback

• Why self-forgiveness is crucial for ADHDers and parents

• Simple strategies for softening your inner critic

About Kristin:
Kristin Carder is a certified ADHD coach and host of the “I Have ADHD Podcast.” Learn more: https://ihaveadhd.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ihaveadhdpodcast/

Find Michaela:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaela-thomas/

Interested in Michaela’s Burn Bright group coaching for ADHD women?
Doors are open for the Oct 2025 start: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright 

Mum guilt vs mum shame, with Dr Tess Browne

You want to be the best version of yourself for your kids.

You want to do parenting “right.”

But nobody told you about the pressure, the invisible comparisons, or the harsh self-talk that creeps in at the end of a long day.

And no one ever told you it doesn’t have to be this way.

In today’s episode, Michaela is joined by her friend and fellow clinical psychologist Dr. Tess Browne to get real about:

* The difference between mum guilt and mum shame 

* How comparison, social media trends (hello, “18 summers”!), and well-meaning advice can trigger self-doubt and parental anxiety

* Why imperfect parenting is not only OK, but essential 

* How compassion for yourself leads to real, positive changes (not more self-criticism)

* The pressure of summer holidays, screen time debates, and the “shoulds” that make us second-guess our choices

* Releasing the myth of the “perfect parent” and giving yourself permission to just be good enough

Because you, your kids, and your messy beautiful life all deserve it.

Connect with Dr. Tess Browne:

Website: www.drtessbrowne.com 

Instagram: @drtessbrowne

Upcoming Autumn Retreat: Day retreat near Cambridge, 4th October (see Tess's website for details)

Connect with Michaela:
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection

If this episode resonated, follow the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes on compassion, neurodivergence, and working mum life — and please share it with a friend who needs a reminder that “good enough” really is enough.

You’re doing better than you think. 

Finding purpose and meaning, even on Mondays, with Ron Monteiro

In this podcast episode, Ron, an author and business leader, shares his journey from a challenging academic-focused upbringing in Kenya and a transition to Canada to becoming a successful entrepreneur. Ron discusses his career path in finance and accounting, his evolution into a corporate leader, and his eventual shift to entrepreneurship. He delves into the motivations behind writing his book 'Love Mondays,' emphasising the importance of finding joy and fulfilment in one's career. The conversation touches on the concept of Ikigai, the significance of aligning one's work with personal values, and the importance of being present and intentional with one's time. Ron also offers advice for those contemplating a similar shift from the corporate world to entrepreneurship, underscoring the need for reflection, small steps, and gradual transitions. The episode concludes with Ron's thoughts on the balance between work and leisure and the importance of finding joy both in and outside of work.

Connect with Ron on LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ronmonteiro18/

Order "Love Mondays" by Ron Monteiro on Amazon

Join the waitlist for Burn Bright: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright

ADHD was there all along - even if nobody noticed the signs

Maybe no one saw the signs when you were a child.

Maybe you didn’t either - not until the burnout hit, the wheels came off, and everything started to feel unmanageable with the school admin, your next big work deadline and the brain fog of perimenopause.

This episode is for the women who have spent years masking, pushing through, and wondering why life still feels so hard.

You got the grades.

You looked like you were coping.

You held it all together on the outside.

But inside?

You were overwhelmed. Overthinking. Hiding the chaos.

And no one ever called it ADHD.

In this episode, I talk about the fear so many women bring into ADHD assessments — the worry that it won’t “count” if nobody noticed it when you were a child.

We’ll explore:

1. What childhood ADHD symptoms actually look like — especially in girls and high achievers

2. Why ADHD often goes undiagnosed until adulthood

3. The emotional rollercoaster of being “on it” one day and burnt out the next

4. How masking makes it harder to recognise (even in yourself)

5. Why it’s not too late — and you’re not too much

Because this isn’t about how well you performed.

It’s about how you felt.

And if the signs were there all along - you deserve to understand them now.

Book a call with Michaela to talk about ADHD assessment, therapy or coaching:

Michaela Thomas - ADHD Assessment clarity call | TidyCal

DM Michaela on Instagram with your questions: www.instagram.com/the_thomas_connection

ADHD, trauma, or both? with Dr Kara Davey

In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas interviews Dr. Kara Davey, an award-winning clinical psychologist, discussing the complex relationship between ADHD and trauma. They explore how trauma is both common in ADHD and can be distinguished from it, emphasising the importance of a thorough assessment. Dr. Davey shares her own experiences with late ADHD diagnosis following a traumatic stillbirth and how both personal and professional paths led to her passion for this field. They also discuss the challenges late-diagnosed adults face, especially women, and how postnatal periods can trigger or exacerbate ADHD symptoms. Michaela and Kara underline the significance of a compassionate and detailed assessment process and delve into the effectiveness of EMDR therapy for trauma, particularly within the neurodivergent community.

https://linktr.ee/drdaveyADHDcoaching

https://linktr.ee/alwaysinmyheart

https://www.drdaveycoaching.com/adhd

https://www.karaclinicalpsychologistinsussex.co.uk/about-us/

The ‘Hindered Genius’ of ADHD: When you can write a book but lose your keys

Ever felt like you can run a team, lead a business, or write a book - yet somehow can’t manage to return a library book or put your laundry away?

In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, I’m digging into the hidden paradox so many women with ADHD face: outward success with chaos underneath the surface.

You’ll hear personal reflections and real client stories that reveal how executive dysfunction can sit alongside brilliance, not in opposition to it.

I’ll walk you through:

• Why some of the smartest, most capable women struggle with the "simplest" tasks

• The emotional toll of being misunderstood (by others and yourself)

• How I approach ADHD assessments with both compassion and clinical conscientiousness

If you’ve ever wondered, “How can I be this competent and still feel like I can't do adulting?” - this one’s for you. Let’s explore what’s really going on beneath the surface, and why a deeper, more personalised understanding of ADHD can be a game changer...  because you can be smart and successful, and still ADHD. 

www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhdclub to join other brilliant ADHD women

Journaling for ADHDers, with The Evolve Journey

In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas welcomes the founders of the Evolve Journal, Sam and Freddie Titcombe. They discuss the development of the Evolve Journal, a tool designed to help people live with more intention, clarity, and consistency by focusing on manageable progress rather than perfection. Sam and Freddie share insights on building healthy journaling habits, the importance of self-kindness, and the value of stoicism in daily life. The conversation highlights the balance of emotional reflection with practical goal-setting, addressing how to manage ADHD traits and the challenges of maintaining consistency. They also touch on the four fundamental pillars of happiness—health, wealth, relationships, and freedom—and provide practical tips for integrating them into daily life. The episode concludes with advice on giving yourself permission to make mistakes and continue striving for growth.

 

Join the waitlist for the next Burn Bright cohort here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright

Find the Evolve Journal here: https://www.evolvejourney.co.uk/

Squirming at praise: Can you take a compliment?

In this solo episode, Michaela explores the discomfort many of us feel when receiving compliments - especially when we’re wired for self-criticism, perfectionism, or modesty.

Sharing a personal story from LinkedIn, she unpacks why our inner critics hate being seen and how we can respond with compassionate curiosity instead of avoidance. This episode is for anyone who’s ever cringed at being praised and wants to learn how to receive kindness more fully - without shame or self-doubt.

You’ll hear about:

• Why compliments can trigger our inner critic

• How upbringing and culture shape our ability to receive kindness

• Michaela’s personal experience of public praise on LinkedIn

• The two-step process of compassion: sense-making + action-taking

• How to lead with vulnerability while staying grounded in your values

Resources mentioned:

• Follow Lauren O’Carroll on LinkedIn

• Learn more about ADHD coaching for women: The Thomas Connection

Work with Michaela:
Feeling called to be more visible  - but scared of the inner backlash? Get in touch for 1:1 coaching or find out more about my programmes for neurodivergent women leaders.

When you can't "just do it": Motivation, self-discipline or self-compassion?

When You Can’t “Just Do It”: Motivation, Self-Discipline & Self-Compassion

You want to do the thing. You care. You’ve got the vision, the list, the intention, and proof that you have done stuff like this before, because you DO achieve things.

And still… nothing. You get stuck procrastafaffing with some irrelevant stuff until you've nearly run out of time. Maybe even feeling ashamed of how hard it feels to "just" start.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “Why can’t I just do it?”, then this episode is for you.

 

Inside, Michaela explores:

1. Why motivation is so unpredictable for ADHD and burnout-prone brains

2. The limits of “just push through” thinking and the myth of self-discipline as force

3. Why self-compassion is not weakness, but a legit performance strategy

4. What’s actually happening in your nervous system when resistance takes over

5. Practical ways to get moving again, encouraging yourself with kindness, not shame

 

You’ll get some evidence-based reframes here:

1. You don’t need to hustle harder or push through

2. You need to feel safer - in your body and your brain

 

Because we can't "just do it" with ADHD, we need to do a little dance with it, creating momentum through taking action and building on that energy step by step, rather than waiting for motivation to magically occur.

Links & Mentions:

Join The ADHD Club: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhdclub